Thursday, December 6, 2007

Suppose It Is All True After All? What Then?

Here's another one that says, more or less, exactly what every other tract says. However, this one opens with a lovely bit of arrogance that tickles my funny bone just right.

Published by Evangelical Tract Distributors, this one briefly tells the tale of two friends discussing the possibility of burning forever in Hell. A Christian who had been eavesdropping cut in and said, "Suppose it is true after all?", and the conversation was dropped. According to the tract, "The power of God always backs the truth," and "The words seemed to fall on the ears of the two men with crushing force. Solemn silence reigned for many minutes. God had spoken."

I nearly soiled my undies, I was laughing so hard! What arrogance, suggesting these men had been silenced by the 'crushing force' of God's truth. Surely there can be no other possibility, although I can think of a few. For starters, the dudes were clearly open to the possibility of Hell, so the butting-in Christian simply pointed out a possibility that neither one wanted to acknowledge. That doesn't make it the Truth. And, for all we readers know, they might have stopped talking for 'many minutes' because they were waiting for the holier-than-thou nimrod to buzz off.

But no, the only interpretation the writer of this tract is willing to entertain is that the two men were silenced by the Truth. The tract continues in this vein, saying, "Suppose it is true" that Hell is real and Jesus is the only way to escape it. The writer makes some nice melodramatic statements, asking if you are "going on at a frightful pace to the eternity of the lost?" before saying, "How terrible will be your doom if you 'die in your sins'. Haste thee to Christ and be Saved." You just don't hear people saying stuff like that anymore, except in tracts.

Points for making me laugh, but otherwise, haste this tract to a blue box and let it be recycled.

Tim has spoken.

Likely to Convert - 0
Artwork - 0
Ability to Hold Interest - 2
Unintentional Hilarity - 3
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 1

No comments: