Psalm 23

The first and most important thing to know about this Evangelical Tract Distributors offering, titled Psalm 23 (A Friend That Goes With Me), is that it does not mention Psalm 23 at all. The cover, with a nice photo of a church in front of a field, is the only place that title appears.

There are other Psalms on the inside - this is a Scripture-quote tract, with six quotations and a brief write-up on what they are supposed to mean. We have Psalm 84:11. We have 68:19. We even have Psalm 145:1 - 10. But Psalm 23? Nope.

With a gaffe like that, you'd think the author would want to remain anonymous. Nope again. His name is David Buttram (no, I am not making the obvious joke here, I have some standards), and it is printed right there on the cover under the titular Psalm that this tract is not about.

So the title is off. What about the lines of Scripture (and David's write-ups of them) on pages 2 & 3? Nothing terribly interesting or new. "Even though the world surrounds me with temptation, danger and death," he writes, "I feel safe and secure because of His watchful care over me." Apparently that's what Psalm 32:7 and 34:4 mean.

"I know the evil one is trying to follow me," he says, "but God is following even closer." And as awesome as God is, "I know this is only a taste of the future He is preparing for me." So God will keep you secure and safe from the evil one, and will make your life fantastic. Sounds nice, but we have to take David's word for it. And since the guy can't even title his tracts properly, well...

"Would you like to have this Shepherd living in your life?" David asks, before presenting the Sinner's Prayer on the back page. This is the first time he's mentioned a Shepherd, apart from quoting "The Lord is my shepherd" right at the beginning. One assumes the animal wrangler he's referring to is God, then. Odd, though.

Heck, the whole thing is odd. Too odd to convert anyone, I would say. Scripture-quote tracts assume that Bible verses are relevant to your life. If they aren't, they sound nice but have little power. Certainly not persuasive power.

You're getting very low marks on this one, David Buttram (still not making the joke, I'm above that!). Nice cover image, but that's the nicest thing I can say for it. A trip back to tract-writing school would seem to be in order, Mr. Buttram, because if this is your best effort, you can crumple it up and ram it in your butt.

...couldn't resist.

Psalm 23
Likely to Convert - 1
Artwork - 4
Ability to Hold Interest - 1
Unintentional Hilarity - 1
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 1

Common Sense

You know you're in for a bullshit storm when a religious tract makes an appeal to common sense. Like When The World Is On Fire, a tract I reviewed back in 2008 that urged readers to "face the facts", this Evangelical Tract Distributors offering makes promises it has no intention of keeping.

Pastor C. Leslie Miller, the tract's author, uses half the space to ask questions and provide Bible verses as answers. Is it common sense "to live for sin, pleasure and money," and to "believe it makes no difference what you believe," or will it pay "if your life is replete with thrills, and hilarious with fun and pleasure" if you die and end up "in eternal darkness and unending torture?" Pastor Miller assumes you are already a believer - why else would these questions be relevant? But if they aren't relevant to non-believers, why is Miller asking them?

The next half-page makes statements that must be true, based on the questions and Scripture we have just read. "It is common sense... to prepare to meet your God," and "to realize the reality of eternity and prepare for it." Miller also hits us with some whoppers: "It is sensible to believe that death is not the end of everything, but the beginning of an unending existence in another conscious destiny." What?!? No it isn't! "The most intelligent thing you could do is to receive the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour" so He doesn't "pronounce your sentence of doom." No! That's only intelligent if it is demonstrably true, and Miller can't prove that and doesn't try.

"It will pay... to be sure I am safe, and ready to meet God." I'm sure it will - if you can in fact be sure. And you can't. I for one am not about to jump into a religion because of a bunch of unfounded claims.

That's just common sense.

Common Sense
Likely to Convert - 1
Artwork - 2
Ability to Hold Interest - 2
Unintentional Hilarity - 4
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 2

Would You Be Happy In Heaven?

An interesting question, posed by an uncredited writer for Evangelical Tract Distributors. We are treated to a story very much like that of The Fortune Teller, involving a group of people on a train. We are also treated to an unmistakable air of self-righteous smugness.

Our nameless narrator, who identifies himself as "an old man," tells a story of a group of men traveling to a Christian Conference on a train. "As the train steamed out of the station," two women carrying "a novel of the sensational type" entered their car "and took seats opposite each other." The old man and his friends "conversed on the Christian Conference" and "got enthusiastically engaged in the subject of God's Grace, God's truth, and God's Son."

"Presently," the two women found that "the conversation above referred to seemed to break in upon the enjoyment of the readers." It turns out that their novels "of the sensational type" proved "incapable of absorbing the mind as completely as desirable." "Presently" (again) one of the women spoke up about how "abominable" it was to "be bored to death with this religious nonsense." This leads to a heated debate that eventually arrives at the titular question, and the old man manages to ask that six-word question using only 31 words. He just loves going on and on about every little detail.

Heh. Like I should talk!

After he's finished asking "the haughty girl" if she would enjoy en eternity of "blessings and joys" of Jesus "if a few minute's conversation about" them "is so abhorent to" her, the woman apparently turned "ashly pale" and "her tongue seemed chained." She left "without saying a word" with her friend at the next station, offering only "a sad, sad look at the gentleman" before she "was seen no more." This was because his words, which "were calmly and kindly spoken" to her, "seemed to have wondrous power." If he does say so himself. A lot like a similar set of words from Suppose It Is All True After All? What Then?. But where that tract attempted to scare readers with the notion that Hell and Judgment might be real, Would You Be Happy dares to posit that Heaven might not be for everyone. Indeed, "before Heaven could be a Heaven to you, a great change must take place in your desires, your tastes," etc. In other words, you need to get Saved before Heaven will be appealing to you! What a unique predicament.

This raises an interesting point - if a person finds the Word of God "distasteful" and "abhorent," how are Christians supposed to reach them? Or are such people acceptable losses? Perhaps not; this tract is a step in the right direction. Before it can be truly effective, however, it needs a rewrite into plain English from this century. One of the women actually says: "I declare..." Really??

Points for daring, but not much more, E.T.D.

Likely to Convert - 0
Artwork - 2
Ability to Hold Interest - 2
Unintentional Hilarity - 5
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 0

And before anyone nails me for it, the misspelling of "abhorent" and "ashly" are direct quotes from the tract, not me being a bad speller.

7 Last Words

A word before we begin: this one from Evangelical Tract Distributors purports to be about seven words, but it is really about seven full sentences. Each sentence is something Jesus is alleged to have said while on the cross, according to the Gospels of Matthew, Luke and John (but not Mark; maybe he had that day off).

So, seven last sentences, then. For a man suffering a truly horrible death, the Lord was quite chatty. Each sentence has extra meaning for us all, even if the tract author has to stretch things a bit to make the meaning work. "Woman, behold thy son..., behold thy mother." apparently means that Jesus "has His eye on the sparrow" which means he knows about "your smallest needs." Because it shows he cared about his mother. I think. Maybe she liked birds.

"I thirst." John 19:28 proves that he "was human as well as divine" and therefore "the suffering of His body" due to "the intense agony of thirst" was real.

"It is finished." John 19:30 means that it is finished. How about that?

I'd quote the other ones, but they are too long and I really don't care. Look them up yourself. I only care about whether or not this tract is convincing. After reading all seven statements that Jesus allegedly said while hanging on the cross, do I feel compelled to become a Christian? Or "is it nothing to you, all ye that pass by?"

In a word, no. The tract does not provide me with enough information. Or (say it with me) proof.

"Millions have since heard these Words," the tract says, "but have passed by in unbelief." Yep, just like I'm doing now. And I imagine I'm in very good company. Or sinful company. Whichever words you are comfortable with.

"Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." Apt words to describe the authors of this tract, I would say!

7 Last Words
Likely to Convert - 1
Artwork - 1
Ability to Hold Interest - 2
Unintentional Hilarity - 2
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 1

In Times of Trouble

This one, from Evangelical Tract Distributors, is short and full of large type. The basic message seems to be that, when you are having problems, God will help you. As tract messages go, this one is very nice.

The tract author delivers this message by instructing the reader on what "God's Trusting Child May Say." First, it is God's Will that "I am in this difficult place," and He will "give me grace in this trial to behave as His child." God "will make the testing a blessing," and "He can bring me out again" all "in His good time" when He's taught us "the lessons He intends for me to learn."

In other words, when a Christian is facing a troubling time, God put them there to teach them a lesson. Therefore, if you become a Christian and "behave as His child," you can take comfort in the fact that any difficulty you face will be put there by God as a test. If you find that sort of thing comforting, then great.

The last page has the usual sinner's prayer, there for readers who want Jesus "to take control of the rest of my life." No mention is made of Hell or damnation, only sin and the desire for eternal life.

This is, as I said, a very nice tract. It places responsibility for one's woes on God, while suggesting that He'll help you out of them. Plus, each woe happens for a reason, rather than simply being random stuff that happens. If that notion helps you deal with life... hey, why not? It proves absolutely nothing, of course, but as these things go, you could do worse.

In Times of Trouble
Likely to Convert - 4
Artwork - 5
Ability to Hold Interest - 4
Unintentional Hilarity - 1
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content – 1

The Most Important 2 Minutes of Your Life

This tract actually has a dash of humility. On the cover, the words "Reading this pamplet could be..." immediately precede the title, which is itself followed by, "Try it, and see..."

Do you know what that means? The tract authors at Evangelical Tract Distributors can't spell the word 'pamphlet'! But more importantly, it means the authors are allowing for a certain amount of uncertainty. They haven't said that a reading of their 'pamplet' most definitely WILL be your life's most important couple of minutes. No, they hedge their bets and merely suggest that it "could be." That suggests that readers might read the tract and decide it was a waste of time, and the authors actually accept that possibility! Bravo to them, I say.

Unfortunately, the rest of the tract is not so humble. "You have a vital need!" we are told, and "the proof is in your heart!" These sentences and others like them are accompanied by lines of scripture, presumably to give their ideas some Biblical weight. By now, readers of this blog will know what the rest of the tract says - you're a sinner who will go to Hell unless you get Saved. Need I mention this tract provides no factual evidence to back up the Bible quotes? Didn't think so.

Reading this tract did not occupy the most important two minutes of my life. Reviewing it was a little better, but not by much.

The Most Important 2 Minutes of Your Life
Likely to Convert - 7
Artwork - 5
Ability to Hold Interest - 3
Unintentional Hilarity - 1
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 1

Do You Flirt With Danger?

"...Timothy thought it was safe for him to hang out with grizzly bears." So begins this latest tract from Evangelical Tract Distributors, written by Roscoe Barnes III. I laughed hard when I read that line, and so should you.

I should have been pissed. After all, here's another tract that's using my name in vain! The message Roscoe is going for is so obvious, and the skill with which he delivers it so stupid, that I'm prepared to let that slight go.

As I'm sure you've guessed, things don't turn out so well for poor Timmy. "People warned him of the danger of" grizzly bears, but Tim "believed he was safe." Then, "despite his belief and good intentions, his rendez-vous with danger resulted in death."

Where is this heading, I don't hear any of you asking? "Like Timothy, we sometime feel we're on the right path," [the typo is Roscoe's, not mine] but "if we live without Christ" then we are "flirting with danger." In other words, if you haven't been Saved you are, essentially, kicking a grizzly bear in the nuts.

"Now that you have seen the warnings," Roscoe sums up, "you have a decision to make. Will you heed the warnings" and "accept God's offer" of Savedhood? Or "will you flirt with danger?" And get mauled by the bears of Hell?

Roscoe Barnes the Third has created a serviceable metaphor with this tract, one that demonstrates the jeopardy he believes the unSaved to be in. A thinking person will see the holes in his reasoning; one can choose to avoid bears, but (according to the theology Roscoe puts forth) Hell is a bunch of bears seeking you out. Plus, bears are real; there is plenty of physical, biological, tangible and visible evidence to prove their existence. There is no such evidence supporting Hell's reality. A person does not have to accept the threat that bears pose to our well-being on faith alone. They need only watch an episode of The Colbert Report.

Of course, there are plenty of non-thinking people who will accept this tract's message of fear at face (muzzle) value. Even they might have trouble taking this tract seriously, however, after reading that first sentence! "...safe to hang out with grizzly bears." That's paws-itively unbearable!

Do You Flirt With Danger?
Likely to Convert - 2
Artwork - 5
Ability to Hold Interest - 4
Unintentional Hilarity - 8
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 1

The Unspeakable Gift

Here's a tract that could really have benefited from the work of a decent editor. Unnecessarily wordy and lacking narrative focus, The Unspeakable Gift is practically unreadable, too!

Published by Evangelical Tract Distributors and "Selected by A. C. P." - whatever that means - this tract makes the oft-repeated point that "Eternal Life" is a Gift. Apparently the Apostle Paul said "Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable Gift," which explains this tract's title. Nothing else does. I mean, one usually associates the word Unspeakable with something negative, doesn't one? Paul likely meant something positive, but will the average secular person on the street make that assumption when handed this unspeakable tract?

But the title, while off-putting, is hardly this tract's only problem. Run-on sentences abound, and the author lacks knowledge of basic punctuation. And did I mention narrative focus? Yes I did. The tract begins by talking about our "beclouded" minds, then tells of how the thief being crucified next to Jesus got himself Saved in the nick of time. He had no good works to his credit, you see, but was still "carried into paradise where Christ was" because "the righteousness of Christ was imputed to him."

And then, just after the Apostle Paul and his Unspeakable quote, the tract dives headfirst into a clumsy metaphor. Imagine "an unskilled man taking his crude colors and clumsy brush and trying to add to" a great work of art. "The idea is unthinkable." So why are people "doing it every day when they come to the question of their soul's salvation" by trying to add to God's Gift of Eternal Life?

Further salvation talk ensues, and the author trips over his/her own explanations. The tract also states that "The Cross of Christ our Lord" is "the central FACT of history." No, that "FACT" is not backed up with any evidence, but that's hardly a surprise.

Evangelical Tract Distributors, this little number is proof that good writing is every bit as important as scripture. If you want to impute your message into our minds without beclouding them, you'll need to do much better than this!

And no, I'm not going to end on a gag about this tract's unspeakableness, because that would be too easy. I'm above cheap jokes. Some of the time.

The Unspeakable Gift
Likely to Convert - 0
Artwork - 4
Ability to Hold Interest - 2
Unintentional Hilarity - 5
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 0

Wonderful Signs

In this one, the Evangelical Tract Distributors take readers on another trip to crazytown. They present the reader with no less than ten stories of miraculous signs appearing in the sky (except one about writing on a wall). Most of the stories involve the formation of sentences in the heavens, like: "Be Ye Converted For Jesus Is Coming Soon." "The end. I come quickly." The other stories describe images in the sky, like "the distinct form of a man from the waist up," or "a distinct Cross with a silvery sheen on one side." In other words, not the sort of stuff the average Joe bears witness to on a daily basis. If these 'Signs' really happened and can be verified, then Wonderful Signs is the most convincing tract ever put to paper! If the Signs really happened. Let's say I took the time to look these up. Not easy, considering most of them lack crucial bits of information (names, dates, that sort of thing). But if I did look them up, would I find any truth to these dramatic sky-writing events? Okay, I went and took the time just now. I plugged in every word into Google that I could, and looked for some article that verified these stories' historical accuracy. The results? I found a couple of the stories online. With the same, word-for-word text as that printed in the tract. And all on Christian websites. I'm afraid I'll need to see an unbiased, secular reporting of the Signs if I'm to be convinced. But I did! I found more than two sites that verified the first Sign mentioned in the tract: the appearance of words in the sky, then "an angel with large white wings, at whose side arose a large Cross, and below whom stood the word, 'Amen'. They appeared in the night sky above Stavenger, Norway, on April 16, 1916. So there you have it. One story, verified (and not disputed) by outside sources. Tip of the hat, ETD. You did good. It proves nothing, of course, but it's more evidence than I usually see in a tract. A pity there is no account for the other nine stories. Maybe I just haven't found them yet; like I said, very little information was provided to aid in such a search. Too bad, because without some rock-solid proof that each of the ten events took place, the tract falls apart. Are we supposed to take the tract author's word on faith? At least this tract is entertaining. The details of the stories are fun, and I especially enjoyed the descriptions of non-believers witnessing the signs: "Some were unsaved, and when they saw the Cross in the sky great fear came upon them." And their names are...? Yes, I'm afraid it all comes back to that. I've made mention before about the lack of credibility most tracts have when they rely entirely on Scripture to back up their claims. Wonderful Signs tries to reach even further, attempting to make readers believe the claims of the Bible and each of these Signs, too. Suspension of disbelief will only stretch so far. Ironic, then, that ETD uses one leap in credibility (the majority of the Signs) to back up another (Scripture). At least they tried. Points for effort and substance, especially for the Stavenger, Norway story. Which, by the way, is really Stavanger, Norway. That was very nearly mind-blowing. Why isn't there more information on this event? Why no photographs? Sigh. "Well probably they are right after all," a couple of Sign-witnesses allegedly said, "referring no doubt to those who are expecting the coming of the Lord." Maybe they are, ETD, but you haven't convinced me yet. Try, try again, I'll be waiting. For now, I'll be Wonderful and Sign off. Likely to Convert - 5 Artwork - 4 Ability to Hold Interest - 7 Unintentional Hilarity - 5 Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 0

Filling The Hole You Didn't Know You Had

Most tracts have a common theme, that of the need for Salvation to avoid the eternal burning flames of Hell. A few go even further, and share a more specific thread. Such is the case with the following three tracts; they try to convince their readers there is an emptiness within them that can only be filled by Jesus Christ. I'll review all three, with an eye toward their presentation of this notion.

What Fills The Void is, at first glance, a rather attractive tract. Half text and half cartoon, this tract insists that "all of us have an empty space inside that needs to be filled." According to author Stephen M. Crane, human beings "are governed by both natural and spiritual laws," that make us "grope for something to satisfy their inner hunger." Artist John Fretz illustrates some of the many things we are apparently groping: money, booze, dope, sex, recreation, sports, religion, knowledge and philosophy.
None of those things "removes the root of the problem," however, because only God "can provide spiritual contentment."

In spite of the convincing nature of John's images(the couple in the Sex picture look particularly unfulfilled), this effort from Gospel Tract Distributors fails to provide evidence for its central premise. That all of us have a void in need of stuffing is treated as a fait accompli. No effort is made to reach the reader who doesn't feel especially empty as the tract supposes.
Is Something Missing In Your Life, from the Fellowship Tract League, is even worse. The cover image of the missing jigsaw piece is clever enough, and the opening question("My friend, are you dead or alive?") is nice and weird, but the rest of the tract is just more of the same with a liberal dose of hyperbole. Lines of scripture are offered up, warning of "eternal separation from God in hell fire" unless you let Jesus "breathe life into you" and fill the "empty void and longing, deep within the depths of your soul, crying out to be filled."

I'd like to pause here to point out the enormous restraint I'm demonstrating in not using the previous sentence, or the one about groping to satisfy an inner hunger, for an obvious sex joke. You're welcome.

Do You Know My Friend, written by Modena Gelien for Evangelical Tract Distributors, isn't much better. "Hello, lonely one!" it begins. "Are you looking for a friend?" The presumption here is staggeringly insulting; not only does Modena assume we are lonely, she also implies that we have no friends! And we're only two sentences in.

"Once I was lonely," Modena goes on. "Then I met Jesus!" A young lady "introduced me to Him" by giving her a tract, and Modena "wondered if He could be my Friend, too?"

I can't help but be creeped out by the needy, clingy tone of her writing, but at least she takes a slightly different approach by presenting Jesus as everyone's Buddy. Sadly, she ruins that goodwill by saying "you are yet a sinner" midway down the second page. And she just drops it in there, too. The font size for this tract is larger than most; perhaps she had to cut all the biblical stuff about why she thinks we are sinners in order to save space.

Then there's the issue of what Jesus' Friendship entails. Modena describes her other friends as "fleeting acquaintances" who were only there "as long as I had something to give." But in order to be friends with Jesus, one must "admit you are a sinner," then "acknowledge that Jesus died for your sins," and then you "ask him to come into your heart and take control of your life." Anything else? "After that, acclaim him to the world." Seems Jesus requires an awful lot in exchange for his Friendship, doesn't it?

"If you want to know my Friend Jesus," Modena Gelien concludes, "please make that first move now." Well, my definition of a friend is someone who sees me as an equal, and I don't think her Jesus is offering that. The only move I'm making is in the opposite direction, and fast.

All three of these tracts assume there is "a vital part of your existence that isn't there." Some non-believers might feel that way, but not all of them. With no proof other than scripture, these tracts come off as judgmental and insulting at best. Void is good for a chuckle or two, and Do is entertainingly creepy. Otherwise, there's a void in my recycling box that needs filling, and these tracts will do just fine.

What Fills The Void?
Likely to Convert - 2
Artwork - 7
Ability to Hold Interest - 6
Unintentional Hilarity - 6
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 1

Is Something Missing in Your Life?
Likely to Convert - 1
Artwork - 6
Ability to Hold Interest - 3
Unintentional Hilarity - 2
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 1

Do You Know My Friend
Likely to Convert - 2
Artwork - 3
Ability to Hold Interest - 3
Unintentional Hilarity - 5
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 6

Hooked On Drugs Healed By Jesus

Here we have a personal account of a man named Orlando Fitzhugh, who tells us that "at 16, I almost died a drug addict." Now, however, Orlando has "a wonderful Christian home," and he no doubt hopes the tale of his tribulations will cause other addicts - not to mention any non-Christian readers - to reconsider their lives and convert.

"Christ is concerned with the hard cases in life," and few cases could be harder than Orlando's. He began his odyssey to addiction hell "at the age of 12," smoking pot in order "to be part of the crowd." Naturally he "graduated to heroin," the fate of all pot smokers. Oh yes. ALL of them. That led to "gang fights, hanging around the streets," and stealing "anything that could be sold, including the family belongings."

"One day, during a gang war..." I just love that half-sentence. Makes it sound like he just stepped out for groceries, doesn't it? Anyway, during that gang war period of his life, Orlando was "shot just below the heart," he had "an overdose of heroin," and "nearly fell six floors to the street," and he "was quickly arrested again." When he was arrested before is not revealed.

It is important to note here that Orlando already believed in God; he prayed for his life after getting shot. And, when he almost fell off that rooftop, "one of the gang saved" him with a "quick grab," to which Orlando concluded that "God had spared my life." So either he mistook his fellow gang member for God, or God was a member of his gang.

Things didn't get much better for him after that. He "suffered a complete breakdown and developed a heart condition," and became "an emotional and physical wreck." Poor Orlando saw "no way out of my predicament."

But then, just when he "knew my days were numbered," Orlando "was invited to attend a church youth meeting" and before you could say Born Again, Orlando was Born Again. Less than a week later, "the craving for the 'stuff' had completely disappeared" and "peace and happiness have been mine."

"Why not repent now," Orlando asks at the very end, "and receive Jesus Christ as your Saviour and Lord?" Why not indeed? After all, this one isn't bad by tract standards. Nowhere does Orlando mention the threat of Hell or the joys of Heaven; his message is relevant to life, not in what may or may not happen after death. Orlando also manages to tell his entire story in the space of three tract pages with room to spare! That almost makes up for the storybook style of his prose: "One day, during a gang war..." "One night, after an overdose of heroin..." It doesn't sound at all like the gritty story of someone who had really lived through the events he describes. I'm not saying Orlando is lying, just that his writing style doesn't grant his story credibility.

Orlando Fitzhugh makes God out to be the ultimate rehab, but I doubt that readers who don't already believe in God are going to buy this story, let alone get Saved. However, drug addicts who are on the fence with their beliefs might just find this tract plausible, giving it a better shot than most of them.

Not bad, EDT. Orlando's worth keeping around. With some decent writing classes, this guy could really be something.

Likely to Convert - 4
Artwork - 6
Ability to Hold Interest - 5
Unintentional Hilarity - 5
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 0

Why He Died

I love story tracts. They tell you a tale to illustrate the need for Salvation, but due to a tract's limited paper space they have to cut a lot of narrative corners. Such is the case with this 4-page piece from Evangelical Tract Distributors and author Oswald J. Smith.

Why He Died tells the story of a young man who killed a guy, got caught, was tried and sentenced to die. The governor takes pity on him and writes out a pardon for the fellow, then dresses like a priest to go and see him. The young man doesn't like priests, so he tells the governor to take a hike. After the governor leaves, the warden tells the young man that the priest was in fact the governor come to pardon him. The young man goes to his death realizing he had been offered salvation for his crime, but he had rejected it.

Get it? Huh, huh? Get it?

Assuming you have more brains than a tin of spam (quite a lot of brains, really), the point of the story is clear. What is not so clear is why the governor dressed like a priest. Author Oswald never tells us he is a priest. He tells us the governor is a Christian, yes, but not all Christians are priests. For all we know, the governor might have been on his way to a Halloween costume party, but had to stop off at the prison to deliver the pardon first.

Also unclear is why the young man murdered the dude at the beginning of the story. It seems "he was playing a game of cards and he lost his temper. Picking up a revolver, he shot his opponent and killed him." Quite an overreaction for a character who "had never done anything very wrong." What made him angry? Why did he have a gun close at hand? For that matter, what game were they playing? If it had been solitaire, he'd have shot himself and the tract would have been much shorter.

The young man's "relatives and friends got up a petition for him" and that "everyone wanted to sign it," including folks from "all over the state." Why? "Because of the wonderful life he had previously lived."

To recap, this young man lived a life so wonderful that he touched the lives of people throughout the state he lived in, and yet he owned a gun and was so unstable that he shot and killed someone over a game of cards. Riiiiight. And then that same man tells the governor to get lost because he thinks he's a priest? Are these the actions of someone who lived a "wonderful life" of never doing "anything very wrong?"

Oswald Smith, if this tract represents a sample of your best work, then boy do you suck. From one writer to another, if you are telling a story in order to illustrate the need for people to accept Jesus as their saviour, that story should not be full of holes. If readers can't suspend their disbelief for your tale, how can you expect them to swallow the claims of Christianity?

Make your story Holy, Oswald, not holey!

Likely to Convert - 1
Artwork - 1
Ability to Hold Interest - 3
Unintentional Hilarity - 4
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 1