This Could Be Your Last Five Minutes Alive

"It has been estimated that three people around the world will die every second." So begins this cheery little number from the Fellowship Tract League, who have taken yet another turn for the morbid.

But before I get into the aforementioned morbidity, let me congratulate them. The above sentence about three dudes croaking every second, is credited to the Population Institute of the United Nations. I know! Here is a tract that has actually backed up one of its' claims! And with something other than a Bible quote, too! Way to go, League. Kudos, and all that.

Sadly, that's the only claim they attempt to validate. The rest is all Psalms this and Ezekiel that. It is a step in the right direction, though, and such efforts must be encouraged.

The tract continues from this noble beginning by asking the reader to pretend they are experiencing "your last moments alive." Why? Because "someone in your city will likely die in the next few minutes. It could be you. Why not?"

While the reader is swallowing that bitter pill, the tract spends the next paragraph detailing the journey of your corpse to the grave in more detail than is strictly necessary. "People will come to the funeral and shed tears over your lifeless body," and at the cemetery "the men will cover your casket with dirt and a tombstone." This bit takes up more than half the first page.

Even the tract author seems to feel he's wasting the reader's time, "so I must get to the point." That point involves the final destination of your soul, Heaven or Hell. "Oh, yes, you will be in one place or the other." Hell is easy to get to, but Heaven requires a lot more work. First, the uncredited author states, "you must believe you deserve to go to Hell," which can't be good for the reader's self-esteem. After that, you must acknowledge that you are the sinning type, and do the whole repentance bit.

If you do like the tract says, "and your life ended right now, you would be in heaven for the rest of eternity." To sum up, you might die at any time, and the only thing that matters is where you'll go afterward. Makes life itself seem rather pointless. I guess if you decide to repent, you might as well kill yourself.

This tract started well but quickly became boring, offering the same tired preaching as every other Fellowship Tract League offering. If you know for certain you have only five minutes left to live, don't waste any of it on this tract.

Likely to Convert - 2
Artwork - 2
Ability to Hold Interest - 3
Unintentional Hilarity - 3
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 1