Wednesday, February 29, 2012


If there's one thing that's guaranteed to pull in converts like a vacuum cleaner in a dust factory, it's biblical phrasing. Year ye him, this tract instructs us, over and over again. Well, eleven times, including the title. I'm certain that Atheists will look at those words and immediately fall to their knees and beg forgiveness from a god they didn't believe in only seconds before. Muslims will smack their foreheads and proclaim, "gee wizz, we've had it wrong all this time!" Buddhists will be all, "Buddha-schmudda!" And Hindus...

Well, you get the point.

This Fellowship Tract League offering does get points for the bloody Jesus carrying his cross on the cover, but that's about it. Otherwise this tract offers the same tired Scripture quotes, preceded by "Hear ye Him!"

Doesn't 'ye' have an 'a' in it? As in yea?

The tract author has put a lot of faith in those three words. It's as if he or she really does believe that anyone who reads them will be swayed instantly. Witnesses will say "Jehovah? Shmeshmova!" Mormons will say "Joseph Smith? Shmoseph Schmith!"

If that does happen, then I'll give up sarcasm. But don't hold your breath.

Hear yea Me!

Likely to Convert - 2
Artwork - 6
Ability to Hold Interest - 2
Unintentional Hilarity - 4
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 1

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