Sunday, April 27, 2008

And Now... Videos

The tract pickings have been pretty lame of late, so I've decided to take drastic action. I'm finally going to make good on my promise to include other mediums in this blog - I'm going to review some Christian videos.

Why only Christian? Like the tracts, I haven't seen any videos promoting any other religion. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough. Or maybe Christian videos are a lot easier to find. Either way, all these videos I've collected over the last several years attempt to do the same work as the tracts - convince you that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Light.

I've picked up my collection mostly in used video stores, but a couple came from Value Village and one came from a Christian bookstore in Stratford.

Some are aimed at kids, some are nonfiction, and one actually made it into movie theatres. A few even have celebrities on the marquee.

Some are well-known, but most are obscure. Some are wacky, some are serious, and a couple are disturbing. One is basically 3+ hours of pure hate.

But the one thing these videos have in common, apart from their Christian agendas, is this: they are all bad. Hopelessly, pathetically lame. I realize this is my own personal opinion I am expressing here, but I've looked at these videos as objectively as I possibly can and I cannot give a single one a good grade. All one can hope for with this lot is varying levels of badness.

Bad production values. Bad writing. Acting? Don't get me started! These definitely aren't Jewish films, not with this much ham!

My list of categories will change a bit to reflect this new medium, but not by much. They are:

1. Likely To Convert
2. Production Values
3. Acting/Direction
4. Likely To Be Sat Through
5. Unintentional Hilarity
6. Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content

Brace yourselves, readers, for a whole new level of weird. Stay tuned - you wouldn't want to get... Left Behind!

2 comments:

Louka said...

I had my first ever experience in Church the other day. It was a catholic sunday mass, but it was run by a very, very modern preacher who used every tool at his disposal to keep people interested. This included a video of Jesus that could have doubled as a hair commercial. I don't know when (probably in the 70s or 80s) this thing was made, but the attempt at "special effects" was pathetic and the only scene that really stayed with me was Jesus getting baptized and flipping the hair out of his face like he was in a Herbal Essences commercial. I've rarely seen anything so funny in my life. I was surprised the preacher thought it was a good idea to use it, but hey, maybe "join our church, we have great hair" is better than "Join us or burn in hell forever"!

Timothy Carter said...

That sounds awesome! If you remember the title, be sure to let me know so I can look for it. And yes, a great hair message beats fear every day!