Dark Dungeons

I've had many requests for this one, so consider it a late Christmas/New Year's gift. I'll go out on a small limb and suggest this is the second most famous Chick tract after This Was Your Life, because it's usually the one people think of when I talk about dear ol' Jack's work. It's certainly a popular one in the gaming community.

And well it should be. The premise, that D&D leads one directly into the occult, is stupid. At worst, D&D leads one into a chronic case of virginity.

Our story starts with a group of gamers gathered around Ms. Frost, the evil Dungeon Master (or DM). Debbie is a rising star in Ms. Frost's group, but poor Marcie's character gets killed off. Marcie takes it badly, to say the least, but who cares about her? Certainly not her fellow gamers. "You don't exist any more," Debbie tells her.
Ms. Frost decides that Debbie is ready to cast real magic spells. "You have the personality for it now," she tells Debbie, and invites her to join her coven. Soon Debbie is an honest-to-gosh sorcerer, forcing her dad to buy her D&D stuff with the "mind bondage spell". Marcie, on the other hand, continues her downward spiral and takes her own life.

Sorcerer or Suicide. Pretty typical outcome for those who play Dungeons and Dragons, wouldn't you say?

No, you wouldn't, because you're not Jack Chick. Jack wants to try and convince concerned parents that role-playing games are evil, but anyone who's actually played the game will tell you he has no clue. That isn't the issue here, however. Let's face it, Jack's wrong or off-base about a lot of things. The question I'm asking is, will Dark Dungeons convince people to give up gaming and turn to Christ? My answer? Only if they're really, really dumb. This tract is only good for amusing the very people Jack is trying to save.

At the end, Debbie's Christian friend Mike (who's "been praying and fasting" for her) takes her to a Christian meeting about the dangers of role-playing games. Debbie gets Saved, and the speaker orders her and all the others to burn their D&D stuff.

Hmm... people being ordered to burn forbidden books... who else ordered the burning of books? Oh yeah, Hitler!

There you go, readers. For the second time I've compared Jack Chick to Hitler. You're welcome.

Jack Chick has gone after Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Jehovah's Witnesses, gay people, and even the education system. I suppose the gaming community had it coming sooner or later. This tract is Jack's +2 pamphlet of conversion, but on a 20-sided die it would barely roll a 3. Gamers like myself are well protected by our +5 shield of laughter.

Likely to Convert - 1
Artwork - 9
Ability to Hold Interest - 8
Unintentional Hilarity - 8
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 3

For those of you who want even more laughs, click here for a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 parody of Dark Dungeons. It will crack you up!